KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN

Of course my children have chores. But whether they actually do them without me telling them fifty million times is another story. The kids take turns loading and unloading the dishwasher. Today is my son's turn.

Me:"Whose turn is it to do dishes?" silence... I swear I would hear crickets churpping if there wasn't a foot of snow on the ground.

"Whose turn is it to do dishes!? I'm not cooking until the get done and you're not eating junk food either." Finally I hear

"I think it might be mine but I'm not sure" says my son. He knows good and well it's his turn.

Me: "you need to come on down here and get the kithchen cleaned or I'm not cooking"

"Okay mom" A few minutes later clank, bang, door close, running water...

" MOOOOM! where does this go?"

Me: "Same place it has for the last 5 years." More clank, bang, door open. Then I hear my son say

"MOOOOOM we have a problem!" I'm thinking Oh good grief what could it be. Then my son comes into the living room hold the box of dishwasher detergent.

"Mom the box says "keep out of reach of children". I'm a child so should I really be doing the dishes?" What did he just say? Did I hear him right? What am I supposed to do at this moment. I want to laugh and strangle him at the same time, but we aren't supposed to do either. So my response is

"Boy get in that kithcen and wash the dishes." I swear I see a smurk on his face as he's walking back into the kitchen. Yup that's my boy.

Apparently I talk to much

Getting ready for school most mornings is a mad house and breakfast conversation can get very interesting. My son was singing a song from one of our favorite groups "Blackeyes Peas". I don't like the words of the song because they are essentially talking about a bootie call. I have instructed to the kids that even though that song is on the CD, it is not on the mommy approval list for singing....so don't sing it or listen to for that matter. My son ... my darling son was singing this song, I was half paying attention until my daughter said "Jarin you are not supposed to sing that song. You know mommy doesn't want us to." Ok she has to a little me and can get a bit bossy to her brother. Jarin in turn starts singing louder...that is what finally got my attention. Me:

"Jarin honey you know you are not supposed to sing that song"

. Jarin:

"I know but I'm just saying the words that they wrote"

. (the boy has an answer for everything) Me:

"ok, but Jarin the words are not appropriate for kids."

Jarin:

"So why did they write them?"

Ajori:

"Uh Jarin I think you better look at mommy's face."

(She hides her head in her cereal bowl) Me:

"Because they are adults and...never mind do you even know what that song is about?"

Now there is an old adage that says never ask a question you don't want to know the answer to. I remembered that to late. Jarin:

"Yes.... Yes I do"

. Me:

"Uggghh"

(but I'm going to press on figure I'm gonna teach him a lesson and gross him out)

"Well that song is about blah, blah, blah and blah, blah, blah"

. Jarin:(very calmly he says)

"I knoooow mommm. The boy blah, blah, blah and the girl blah, blah, blah"

Ajori:

"Yeah and don't forget blah, blah, blah"

I am stocked but I have to hide it or at least try to but my daughter breakouts in the giggles when she looks up at me. Me:

"Uh how do you guys know so much...where did you here that"

? I'm thinking....I need to have a talk with somebody. Them:

"kids talk at school... on the bus... but mostly you. You gave us all the details"

. Me: Coughing and choking -

"uh well"

... my daughter is in a fit of giggles right now and my son has a sly, calm smile on his face. I think I'm scared of what he is thinking.

"Apparently I talk to much"

. I think I need to have an editing session with myself.