Often my fits of panic revolve around my 10 yr. old daughter-Jori (Also know as the pretween diva). She is approaching young womanhood with questions I'm glad she feels comfortable to talk to me about but I'm so not ready for most of it.
Set up- we are getting dressed for today's adventures in NYC.
Me: Oh man I hope I rememebed to bring my deorderant.
The diva: Mom when will I be ready to wear deorderant?
(Ok I can handel this isn't not a bad question)
The Diva: Is this another hard question... you look funny again
Me: Well (I can do this) when your hormones start to develope that is what helps you to become a grown up lady and your body changes, you grow hair in your private places and under your arms, and your grow boobies. Remember we talked about that.
The Diva: Yes I remember... ummmm mom I already hair in places.
(I have lost all forms of function) the diva falls back on the bed.
Me: Where do you have hair? (I'm so not sure I want to know this)
The Diva: never mind...(I'm starting to get the eye rolls)
Me: no honey really it's ok...where dooo you have hair I don't know about?
The Diva: Never mind mommmmmm uuugghhhhhhhh!!!!!
Me: Ohhhh Jori....I'm not talking about the lite color hair all over your body, I'm talking about the hair like I have under my arms see.(lifting up my arm)
The Diva: ohhh now I get it.....Mom how come all our clothes have made in China on them?
Note to self.... be really techincal and have visual aids and your child will change the subject.
You look funny again?? Try to keep a poker face when answering these type of HARD questions.. Getting technical when answering puts them in a fog. Hilarious, I love this!!!
ReplyDeleteDear Anonymous... Never choose me as a poker parterner. Typically what I'm thinking is all over my face. And that is the exact reason I'm not a lawyer I woulda went broke being held in contempt of court. lol
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